Going down

Deaf life has become this, trying to make everybody around deaf, deaf they are becoming, cruel deaf world I see now, angry eyes are looking at me, deaf mouths and loud ears are flying in the quite air, air of black blood made, thorned head's are floating in the dark sea filled with screams and pain, emotional sea is that, I made that sea, from my sorrow and pain, from my emptyness, from my primitively simple head. First I thought ''are this heads real?'' real they are, floating in the cursed sea, cursed from my unconcesness, ''whome are this heads?'' i will ask, heads of all the smart life's I have defy they are, strong and filled with potion of knowlidge, now they are in this black cursed sea of death, emotionaly dead, breaking all the chains around me, crushing all the armor I wear, and infecting me with the dumbness they have become, dumb I am becoming, like those I have learned not to be like that, and I made it, little...and now, everything is returning, I have cured them from the dumb poison, but the poison turned his teethes on me, biting and biting and biting and now I have no blood, no blood is runing in my vains, only fillthy potion. My mind becomes smaller and smaller, darker and darker are my eyes, and me, I have become almost nothing, my color is fading, I was once grey, then become dark black and now, now I am almost invisible, stop I wanna say, but, something in me dont want to, something is saying vanish, dissapear, thats the best, let the unknown take your collor and cease forever in the dark nothing, see nothing, find out how is it to feel, see, hear nothing, when you will, you will cease to know.

Fading

Empty

I am goinn to sleep 'cos I am empty, I am writing this just to know that I am empty, no matter how much stories ill write I feel empty somehow, its not the writings that make you feel full, no, they make you feel just proud, I am full in my soul when I write with some purpose, for something I have some feeling, thats it. I feel empty like this writing, it is empty and stupid, thats the feeling inside me now, empty and stupid, and it becomes stronger and stronger, I hope I will become the most stupid man in the world, cos I want to learn from the smartest. Empty words from empty mind, they have get out now, they are flying, nowhere, this writing is empty, dont exist like I do, I dont exist, forget me, everybody.

Temnina

Pogled, ti si vo svet, temen svet, se e temno, a sepak se se gleda jasno se, ti se nagos vo temanta starna na tvojot zivot i tesko e da se stigne do svetlata, za da stignes moras da ja najdes vratata, a koga ke ja najdes ke se najdes pred edna zagatka, imas zid i vrata, vratata e sirum otvorena, nooo, imas nesto sto ne mozes da se snajdes, pogledot od drugata strana na vratata e ista kako onaa vo koja se naogas, temna, a zidot pokazuva dr slika, slika na svetlina, cvekinja, zelenilo, prolet, sonce, peperutki, razletani insekti, i raspeani ptici no toa e samo zid, i ne mozes da odes preku nego, zastanuvas pred vratata i razmisluvas, ako otidam od drugata strana mozebi nema ovakov pogled da ima, so resitelnost trgnuvas napred, eden cekor i so ednata noga si vnatre, gi zatvaras ocite, uste eden cekor osekas kako da pominuvas nekoja bariera, nekoja energetska bariera, i psiholoski dali od nadez ili vistinski osekas kako nesto da ti oteznuva vo psiha i sovest. Otvaras oci i sto ke vidis so otvorena usta iznenaduvacki izraz na liceto i razocaruvacki vo isto vreme, gledas, gledas...gledas temnina, se e temno, duri potemno od pred dva cekori, a sepak se e
jasno, i jasno se gleda sekoe edno kose i predmet, se vrtis, gledas vrata sirum otvorena, a od drugata strana svetlina, jaka svetlina sto te oslepuva, poglednuvas odokolu zid, temen zid kako ogledalo na ona vo koe si vlezen, na ovoj svet, odis poblisku do vartata, poleka, poleka stanuva se pojasno i pojasno, gledas svetlina, sonce, rascvetani cvekinja, zelenilo, peperutki, razletani insekti, raspeani ptici, radost... so zadovolstvo i so siroko otvoreni oci odis so ubrzan cekor nakaj vratata, vleguvas so sreken izgled na liceto odis i odis, stignuvas pred vratata i vikas "stigna vremeto i jas da bidam osvetlen i sreken" i so mila nasmevka i izgled na liceto kako 13 godisno dete vleguvas niz vratata i so okokoreni oci pominuvas, vo tek na toa pominuvanje go dobivas istoto cuvstvo kako da pominuvas niz nekoja bariera koja te rasplacuva i ti olesnuva na psiha i sovest vo tek na pominuvanjeto onaa slika na zelenilo, peperutki... stanuva eden vid na siv cad, i stanuva od svetlo temno, kako da isparuva ona sto e svetlo, i ostanuva temnoto, se vkocanuvas od ona sto ostanalo od ona sto go vide od drugata strana, temnina, temno e se a se se gleda jasno sekoe kose. Se
vrtis poleka, gledas vrata sirum otvorena niz koja nazirnuva svet ist kako ovoj vo koj si temen i navednat od taga i odokolu zid na koj se gleda svetlina, prolet, zelenilo, peperutki, razletani insekti i raspeani ptici. Ne znaes sto e toa pocnuvas da places no nisto ne pomaga. Ides do vratata i razmisluvas pak, sto e toa sto se slucuva. So nadez pak trgnuvas niz vratata i pak nazad i pak nazad i pak i...

vremeto e beskonecno a zivotot vo ova telo konecno, no, sekogas samo edno e isto, i trae kolku sto i vremeto, a toa e, tagata, i temninata, nema svetlina, nikogas nema da ima, ke ima samo temnnina, koja za nijansa e pocrna ili...
posiva toa ke bide edinstvenata svetlina sto ke ja vidis!!!

Time

Tick, tack, tick, tack, the time is up, look at the window, you will see that nothing is to see, tick, tack look under your bed, what is there, nothing, tick, tack where is the time, is it gone is it dissapeared, is something left of the time, a short minute, a part of the second to take a picture of my last view to the world filled with time, time to wait, time to stop, time to go, time to love, time to hate, one time, thats what I want, a part, a little part, almost invisible part of the time. All I want is, is what I want, and what I want is a clear view, a view trought the wind to the shining moon on the dark sky, a pure golden ray of sunlight on my face, freedom, free choice of thinking. Is it hard to have those things today...yes they are...becouse, there is no time, for nothing, not for one ray, not for on look, for nothing, nothing it has comed, its here, now and nothing is overwhelming this page now, its gone, everything is gone, gone to nothing, gone.

Anger

Screaming agony, no more good expresion, just deep creative words with dark soul inside, song writen with that words would be only screaming and deep breething, I am inside that song, full of nothing, dumb but full with feeling, everything, every feeling has transformed into two feelings, from multiple into duo, agony and anger, I feel it in my head and only there and its like replicating with great speed faster then the speed of light E=mc , E-energy, m-mass, c-the speed of light in vacuum, well this is the speed of light and its fast about 299 792 458 m / s, what about the speed of the feeling in my head, here is the formula for this feeling, F=aAn+Oe, F-feeling, a-agony, An-anger, Oe-outside environment, thats faster then anything else. And the final result is a big scream cos if not the head will blow like a little ballone from the presure of the breathing anger inside me, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

The search

All acros the world one word is flying now, one sentence, one question "is it going to be or not?" Over this sleaping crowd, this question is flying and trying to find the sentence whit the same collor, thats the answer, but its hard, hard to be found, big is the world, and the words travel fast as are our hearts are big, that meens the words travel real slow. This question it has been traveling fast, but, but now, now its real slow. Its realy realy realy slow, it becomes almost immovable, but it can be fealt the nearnes of the answer, it tear away the sentance, the question, and it become"it is going to be r t" some letters have been destroyed, and now I know, I know the answer. The end of the search is near.

Neverfeeld feeling

Where are you dear friend, soulmate, soulmate whitout soul, come, I have a life for you, a dreams to tell you in the night, come slowly, quitly, come whitout my knowing of your existing, stand right behind me, now, smell me, and smile on me, I smile right now on you, touch me I will not feel you, touch me deep into my dark inner soul, taste my juice of red sorow, and free me from everything, drain me and fill me again, let me be free or let me die free, like a ghost nowhere, let me be. Break all chains around my soul and tast the sweet heart, hold it in your hands, kiss it and ill become what I have wanted always, and will love it always, I will become stranger to the others, and your friend, write my name on the dark wall on the world to be known that one soul has left, one body has been changed, one truth has been told, its telling and it will be, truth of what I am, I am nothing, so thats why I beg you dear messenger of death let me be youe death, sweet it will be that, 'cos its from you, no mather if it is true death or life after death, just want your kiss on my neck to feel once your love, and become death or imortal, no matter just tp feel...

No name story

Break the lightnes, breath the darknes, step one step forward and feel nothing...let the emotions go away and disappear, free your thoughts and let them flew, shut the mouth and put one seriouse smile on it, stop the blood, if you dont stop it...dont worry it will be stopped, just focus in one spot on the air, invisible spot filled whit memories and feelings, and a second till the countdown, then it begins...3,2,1...darkness and a spot on the floor...

...

What a life, not worth for living, not worth thinking of it, just nothing. I surender, I cant continue, got to find a way to stop it, somehow, anyway, I have to dream somehow, into darknes I hope it will be...sweet dream

The red death

Прашање

Сладок дожду, врни врз моите длабоки брезди на моето лице изорани со плугови демонски, демони на времето, тие се тие кои ќе ме уништат, еден ден тие ќе ме кутнат на земја и подлабоко, ќе ме стопат и претворат во пепел разлетан во ветерот, безживотна ќе ми биде судбината, ама судбина не постои, животот ми е безсудбински, трајно штетен за светот околу мене, сладкиот дожд горчлив станува, крвав е тој, крв на божеството над нас е таа, наречено НИШТО. Колку ли ќе треба да помине за да јас останам без сила во моиве раце, до кога ке ја држам бесилкава да не ме стегне пресилно и да ми го згаси животот, дали можам барем писмо да напишам со едната рака, писмо од крв црна, крв од моите валкани вени, калливи и нечисти, писмо до оние кои ги мрзам да им кажам да ми простат за тоа што сум ги мрзел, да им пишам на оние кои ме мрзат дека јас не ги мрзам, да им покажам дека сум посилен од нив со тоа. До кога ќе си ги поставувам прашањава без одговори, зар оваа словенска антитеза е толку долга бескрајна, има ли крај на овие прашања без крај, има ли крај на овие прашања има ли крај на се што се случува, има ли крај на овие зборови, има ли зборови на крајот, каков ли е тој крај и кои се зборовите....
Прашања се доста, залудни се, непотрошлива роба, постојано се тука, бесмртни суштества се овие прашања, тие се моите временски демони, тие прашања, демони кои никогаш нема да ги сфатам, видам, најдам, одговорам а нема ни да ги избркам, постојано тука, до крајот, самиот крај, крајот на се...

Confused

Is it life or is it time that hurts so much, is it day or is it morning that makes me blind, what is it? I am speaking whit no voice in my throat, I am feelin' the deaf blood goinn' trough my frozen veins, the silent screams fly on the grey times of my life, I can see the broken souls in the mirror standing next to me on the other side, in the paralel universe, they are smiling, smiles that break my bloody cursed heart, smileing in silence. Bring the torch I can't see my shadow, am I alive, am I dead, am I gost or I am just a memory of some past time, bring me the knife to see is it still blood in my veins, is it red or brown, is it hot or cold, give me the sword to play games with my heart, to kill my enemy, to see is it that what keeps me alive, or am I really alive?
Sweet love, why crushing hearts, why poisoning souls, you should heal them, not kill them, maybe the words are similar but not the same, you put a burden over our souls, why, is it that nessesery, is it...
Sweet life....heal me...