Confused

Is it life or is it time that hurts so much, is it day or is it morning that makes me blind, what is it? I am speaking whit no voice in my throat, I am feelin' the deaf blood goinn' trough my frozen veins, the silent screams fly on the grey times of my life, I can see the broken souls in the mirror standing next to me on the other side, in the paralel universe, they are smiling, smiles that break my bloody cursed heart, smileing in silence. Bring the torch I can't see my shadow, am I alive, am I dead, am I gost or I am just a memory of some past time, bring me the knife to see is it still blood in my veins, is it red or brown, is it hot or cold, give me the sword to play games with my heart, to kill my enemy, to see is it that what keeps me alive, or am I really alive?
Sweet love, why crushing hearts, why poisoning souls, you should heal them, not kill them, maybe the words are similar but not the same, you put a burden over our souls, why, is it that nessesery, is it...
Sweet life....heal me...